Biography
The Rev. Arthur Cribbs is from San Diego, California where he’s Pastor of Christian Fellowship Congregational Church. Art is a former broadcast journalist whose Emmy award winning work melded the nurturing heart of a pastor with a writer’s passion for telling a good story. [Biographical information is correct as of the broadcast date noted above.]

"Saying Thanks in Tough Times" 
Some years ago, Father Michael Kennedy, a Roman Catholic priest in Los Angeles, traveled numerous times to the war-torn country of El Salvador. On one trip he visited a community where all the men had been murdered: fathers, uncles, sons, brothers, neighbors, and nephews were all killed. Only the women survived.

Upon his return to the United States, Father Mike wrote a reflection piece in the Los Angeles Times. He was profoundly and forever touched by the faith and hope of those women he had met. He wrote about how they had suffered the loss of their men and had to fend for themselves amid such horror and tragedy. Yet, they remained grateful to God for life and still believed peace was possible. They retained an attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude even in tough times.

Now, many of us are accustomed to offering words of appreciation and thanks when times are good and things are going well. I usually find it easy to feel grateful when gifts are exchanged and kinds words are spoken. Even in the aftermath of a difficult situation, I am able to offer a prayer of thanksgiving: thankful for getting through to the other side of bad times. But what about tough times? How do we say “thanks” when trouble surrounds us and uncertainty fills our mind and space?

Recently, I was in a circle praying with a group of people in a park in San Diego. I was very fortunate to have been standing between two young women from Sudan. As we held hands and offered our prayers aloud, I felt the deep wrenching that gripped their bodies, causing both of them to tremble as they spoke. What moved me most were the words of their prayers.

The older of the two women who stood on my left prayed first. And then she said it. “Thank you, God, for the suffering of my people. Thank you for the hurt we have known. Thank you for the long journey from war to refugee camps, and now to this place. Thank you for the pain we feel leaving our families behind and not knowing their fate; not knowing whether they are dead or alive.”

Her prayer continued like that as she shared a very deep faith in a loving and present God whom she gave thanks through her tough times. I had expected another kind of prayer. Perhaps one that was more familiar like praying for the protection of her family or the end to the war, violence and death among her Sudanese countrymen. Instead, she prayed and I heard words of thankfulness in the midst of tough times.

In Psalm 22, we hear David praying to God amid his own agony. Jesus offered that same prayer of David from the cross when he cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!” Inherent in their prayers is the awareness of God’s presence with them. Although they felt a sense of temporary abandonment, they still called out to God with confidence that God hears and knows their suffering.

It is that awareness that sustains, strengthens, and makes possible our victory over unbearable and, seemingly, impossible circumstances. David and Jesus both expressed the very core of their faith, as they knew God listens, feels, and knows our tough times. More than that, God shares and delivers us through and beyond our fears and loneliness.

Now, this is not to trivialize, minimize or even deny tough times. It is not to say we should pretend tough times don’t exist. Rather, in the midst of difficulty when the outcome is not certain, we engage completely what is actually happening, but we do so with open expression of thankfulness and gratitude.

Gratitude during tough times means naming and identifying what we are experiencing. We must name and call out our concerns and our issues. And when we speak the word that is bothering us, we gain power and control through God’s grace. There is no denial when we say exactly what is going on and who is involved. After we name it, we discover the practical side of Jesus’ teachings about love and forgiveness. The only true antidote to fear is love.

Often, fear is the thing that drives and fuels our tough times. We can overcome our fear with love. Through love we can muster the courage to forgive even those persons who cause us to face tough times. Forgiveness puts a human face on our condition. It makes room for us to retain our humanity even as we affirm and validate the humanity of the person who is hurting us.

When we do just that, everything changes starting with our attitude. And, we do one other thing as we pray to God, we express gratitude to and for the other person. Instead of seeking revenge or petitioning God to hurt the one who is hurting us, we lift up a prayer of appreciation for being alive and aware. We pray for the care and welfare of every person, even the one who is causing us harm.

This is what Paul tells us in Romans 12:20 where he says “...you will be heaping coals of fire on his head.” In other words he will feel ashamed of himself for what he has done to you.

Being thankful is not only reserved for good times in our lives. Our true power comes when we give thanks for all circumstances, including tough times. The amazing grace of God is that gratitude shifts perspective. We see, feel, and experience things quite differently when we authentically and openly say, “Thank you” in tough times.

I have a pain in my lower back. Doctors have told me will stay with me for the rest of my life. It is a pain for which I give thanks. It reminds me of the night I went through a windshield in a head-on automobile collision in Nigeria, West Africa. For a long time whenever I closed my eyes I could see the flash of bright lights and I could hear the crashing sound of metal from those cars.

The pain in my back reminds me I am still alive after that accident on the highway between Ibadan and Lagos commonly known as “Blood Alley.” I thank God for the pain and the moment that separated my past from the new life since that eventful evening. Saying “thanks” in tough times is not easy but it is always necessary.

Now, the second young woman from Sudan who prayed in that circle in the park also stirred my soul and helped to sharpen my faith. Her voice was so soft and gentle as to be barely heard even less than a foot away from her. But, her eloquence and fervor could not be missed.

She, too, prayed her prayer of thanks for the trials and tribulations of her life. She knew war, death, violence, and deep hurt. She knew displacement and starting over in a very different and distant place. And, yet, she said thank you in her tough times. Her prayer of thanksgiving touched everyone in that circle. She connected all of us to her and to her God. We witnessed the maturity of her faith as she prayed. Yes, gratitude is powerful. It is healing and it is renewing. We are forever changed and never the same for having heard her pray a word of thanks in tough times.

Anyone who has spent a single moment with any modicum of awareness through these dangerous and difficult days knows there are many things that distract us and keep us off-balance. We are reminded everyday of the problems in the world. There are wars, famine, storms, addiction, unemployment, broken families, deployment to foreign lands, displacement, financial insecurity, and illness. And the lists of woe go on and on.

The toll of life is exact and often harsh. It is in these very tough times that we need to give thanks to God. Also, we must learn to say thank you to people in our lives, even those who appear invisible like housekeepers in hotels, offices, hospitals and schools. We must share our gratitude with people who make things right through their labor and good will. It is not enough just to say thank you to God unless we also thank our sisters and brothers.

That attitude of gratitude gives us clarity, it gives us courage and faith to go on and live more abundantly and fully. Through our prayers of thanksgiving new hope is shared and community is formed. We see ourselves in the company of others who also know the challenges and opportunities of tough times. We sense the presence of God with us through tough times. The Apostle Paul reminds us to pray without ceasing...to pray at all times. When times are good and when times are tough.

I say to you yes, pray. Pray a prayer of thanksgiving and be grateful no matter what is going on. Find the words and know the depths of gratitude that empowers you to say thanks in tough times. Amen.

Interview with Arthur Cribbs

Lydia Talbot: Art, an earlier time you were on this program you told us that you started every day of your life with a mantra of gratitude. Can you say it for us now?

Arthur Cribbs: Sure. “No matter what happens today, I’m going to practice gratitude and joy because God is the source of my life.” And that’s my mantra. It continues even to this moment.

Delle Chatman: That’s beautiful and simple. And it’s a thank you for life itself.

Cribbs: Well, I need to say it, you know, because things get tough and we have these surprises —uninvited, unwelcomed surprises—and yet through it all we have to remember that something far greater than our knowing, our understanding, is in charge of everything. And what seems to be a tough moment and perhaps is a tough a moment, may be a preparatory moment for something better. So I’m giving thanks for, yeah, it’s painful, it’s disappointing, but I still believe the God who loves me is in charge of that moment where I’m facing disappointment. So no matter what happens I practice it.

Talbot: Has there been something particularly painful or tough that you’ve been able to say those words, “Thank you, God” for?

Cribbs: The loss of a first cousin.

Chatman: And the accident, for one thing.

Cribbs: The accident a few years ago. You know, what was interesting about the accident—and this was before the mantra was a part of my life—I’ll always remember sitting in the front seat of this vehicle on the highway between Ibadan and Lagos and seeing the light and then suddenly hearing the crash and my body goes limp and something says, “Relax. Relax.” And I’m saying, “Yeah, but I could die here!” And it says, “But you’re in Africa. You’re at home. Relax!”

Talbot: You mentioned a cousin?

Cribbs: Yes. I’ve had several cousins die in rapid succession. People who are very close to us. We had a family reunion, we were all together, and within a few months of that each of them, young men, passed away. Those are difficult moments. I’m not celebrating the fact that they died, but I’m celebrating the fact that we had family time together and now a memory of them.

Chatman: I want to go back to this voice that spoke to you in the midst of this accident because I think it’s kind of key to what you’re getting at; that in the midst of our suffering God is there. We’re never without him. And we have, as Christians, a suffering Lord. We have someone who has actually gone through horrific suffering himself so we have a tie to God that is physical and visceral and emotional. He’s experienced loneliness and alienation. As you said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Can you talk a little bit about how it feels to find God in the midst of a moment of excruciating pain?

Cribbs: You know, I am so thankful that David penned those words in Psalm 22—at least we attribute it to David—because we often jump right over to Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” But when David pens in the midst of his own agony this sense of abandonment, “My God, my God, where are you? Why have you forsaken me?” And then Jesus cries out from the cross, right? There are times in our lives when we do not feel the presence of God. We do feel abandoned. We feel alone. We don’t feel family cares about us. We don’t feel the nation cares about us. We ask, “Well, who cares about me?” And there is Jesus on the cross saying, “Where are you God? Abba, Abba, where are you, Father? Where are you, Dad? Where are you?” So I think it’s important for us even in those times when it feels like we are abandoned and we’re alone to call again. Call out again. Call out again.

Talbot: Are you calling out again right now, Delle? Our Delle has struggled, as our audience knows.

Chatman: I have a war going on with cancer. And we’ve been fighting, getting down on it for about three years now. And I’m really struck, given my own experience of that fight, with what you’ve said about this sense of being forsaken, but also how it is important to still cry out. And then, to me, surrender is important. In that thank you, before you get to thank you, there is a relaxation. There is, “Lord, I’m yours!”

Talbot: Dietrich Bonhoeffer talks about grace. He spends a lot of time talking about grace. And he makes a distinction between “cheap” grace and “costly” grace. And I think the same is true with gratitude. I don’t want to just be going around saying thank you and being flippant about that and ignoring what life brings us in that encounter.

I have a wonderful friend, my daughter’s godfather, who was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. And he said—and fortunately it is in remission and he is nine years past that diagnosis—in the midst of it he discovered how wonderful life is. He says the worst thing about cancer is knowing that you have it. But when you know you have it and you begin to pay attention to life, it’s not that bad because suddenly you’re now paying attention to things that before he had been taking for granted. I don’t want to trivialize that, but he gives me inspiration as I hear him say that.

Talbot: And the knowledge that others, Delle, are praying for you is a critical part of the healing process.

Chatman: And something else to be grateful for because many times the prayers of other people are all you can fall back on in moments that are full of despair and, as you said, uncertainty and pain and looking forward to the future that all of a sudden is clouded with...well, you don’t even know what, but you just dread, just absolutely dread. But I’ve found that in moments like that I could be thankful for the people who took care of me, the nursing assistants that walked in and handled me with tender loving care, the nurses who paid attention to my needs, the doctors who were using their best knowledge, their best wisdom to take care of me, even in the most desperate circumstances there is cause for the expression of gratitude. And that keeps this spirit afloat.

Talbot: And the beautiful attitude of your beautiful little girl, Ramona, who is ten.

Chatman: Ten going on twenty!

Talbot: Tell us what she said recently about being the child of a mother who has illness.

Chatman: Well, she had an opportunity to make a presentation in front of a large audience and she talked about how the challenge of having a parent who is really, really sick really creates a lot of fear in a child, a lot of anger in a child, and a lot of loneliness. She said, “I know how lonely you feel,” she said speaking to other kids in circumstances like hers. “But, God can see you through. God can see you through.” And I give thanks for her faith! That it’s there for her.

Cribbs: You know, it’s an opportunity for us to encourage each other. So many people are going through so many things: displacement, loss of home, loss of family, deployment to places, loss of jobs. So much, right? We are living through much uncertainty, but if we are able to say thank you and then sit back and listen. Just listen. It becomes a new source of power, a new source of inspiration. And I think that’s where God gives us the great gift of each other. Over and over again, God is saying, “I love you. Now I want you to do one thing for me: love each other, take care of each other, inspire, encourage each other.” Because we are all going through something that seems like it’s bigger than ourselves, bigger than the moment.

Talbot: How do you teach that to your children?

Cribbs: You know what? They are teaching it to me because most of the time our children are paying attention to what’s really essential and they are so forgiving and their memory is so short.

Chatman: That’s very true.

Cribbs: They are the teachers. That’s why a child shall lead us, because our children are teaching us how to be most human, most compassionate and always thankful.

Chatman: Thank you so much, Art Cribbs. This is so profound and so inspiring. And it’s strengthening. Thank you so much.

Cribbs: Thank you.